www.body-language.you

Even when you don’t say a word, other people can still learn a lot about what kind of person you are and what you are thinking and feeling. Or bodies speak LOUDLY!

Your body language refers to the messages you send out, for instance; gestures, movements, and facial expressions.

Some body language experts claim only about 7% of our messages are communicated through the words. The rest are conveyed through body language, voice tone, and facial expressions.

During your entire life you have been sending messages through your posture, gestures, and facial expressions.

What sorts of messages are you conveying with your body language? Does your body language encourage people to approach you? Or do you subconsciously warn them to stay away?

Take a moment to think about how you usually stand or sit around others. What are you doing with your hands? Where are you looking with your eyes? Does your face reflect tension or interest?

When you are sitting or standing, do you usually cross your arms across your chest? If this is your typical way of standing or sitting, how do you think others interpret this posture? Did you realize that most people will subconsciously interpret your arms crossed in front of your chest as a signal that you don’t want anyone to approach you? This can definitely lower your "approachable" points.

If you stand awkwardly, with your chest slumped forward, your shoulders drooping, and your eyes avoiding everyone else, people are likely to decide you are very depressed or completely lacking in confidence, which may cause others to withdraw an invitation out of fear of awkwardness.

No matter how desperately you want someone to come over and befriend you, if your body language projects awkwardness or disinterest in others, it’s not very likely that many people will try to start a conversation with you.

Some signals can frighten people away, while some will encourage people to come forward and approach you? But, you can be and look approachable to others by adopting body language that's open and non-threatening. Whether you are sitting or standing, aim for a posture that is upright and alert, yet relaxed. If you notice that your chest or shoulders are slumping, straighten up. It heightens your confidence!

Become aware of the way you are breathing. Does your breath move in and out smoothly? Or does it move with jerky little stops and starts? If you notice that you are holding your breath, or breathing in a shallow, jerky manner, this may be a sign of anxiety. When you breathe shallowly, you have to breathe more often, which can increase your appearance of nervousness. Consciously tell all the muscles of your body to relax. Use your abdomen to help you breathe smoothly and deeply. Let the bottom part of your lungs fill up with air as well as the top. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Be slow, not rapid....you're not in labor.

What are you doing with your hands? If you get nervous in social situations, you may feel that no matter what you do with your hands, it’s the wrong thing. Many people who cross their arms in front of their chest are probably doing so at least in part because they don’t know where else to put their hands. You should never cross your arms in front of your chest unless you really don’t want anybody to approach you. That is the message this gesture sends out. (I learned this the hard way)

If you want to look open and approachable, keep your arms at your sides, or put one hand in your pocket. If you want to hold something in one hand, keep your hand at the side of your body, and not in front of you. Some women are prone to resting handbags on their laps. Another security feature, or a "wall" to hide behind due to lack of confidence or shield a problem area (stomach).  Holding your arm in front of your body can be seen as a signal that you want to defend yourself against other people.(Some view this as a "security blanket". Not realizing its a potential defense mechanism)

Remain calm in your surroundings and those around you. If you notice yourself tuning out, you may start to focus on negative inner sensations and thoughts. This can quickly increase your anxiety to a very uncomfortable level. Think positive...we're all human.

In most cases, a gentle, pleasant smile can do wonders. Keep it soft, don't force it. It may appear to others as fake. A sincere smile and confidence in your eyes will convey the impression that chatting with you will be a pleasant experience.