To Whom it may Concern...

Dear Dirty Bastard(s),

Thanks for making my rainy day special. This morning my cards were compromised by a rotten hacker or a team of low lives who used the name Erick Francis, in Ashly , OH, and bought nice things (I'm sure) from Target in Brooklyn, New York. Please don't worry that I have bills of my own to pay or that rent is due. I'm sure your thieving needs supersede mine. Whoever you are...it must be fabulous an exciting living a life of crime. Especially, when all you do is sit at home on your fat ass & withdraw money from hard working families. It's funny to think you've got away with this & everyone is sitting back waiting for the bounty of stolen goods to arrive, but trust your reign will end & PRISON is in your future! Gotcha!

Here are some things to expect from CLUB FED;

Long sleepless nights praying no one will steal your "goodies".

A lifetime of being someone's b***h.

Horrible food served at times scheduled to feed you.

Small cell that sleeps 4 or more (due to over crowdedness).

Disgruntle staff, 'cause you keep pissing them off about commissary or anything that's aggravating.

No phone calls...no one to talk to.

You become government or state property, So your ass is not you're own.

Possibility of being thrown in the "hole".

Toilet in the cell & open showers...if you get one!

High probability of being of shanked, stabbed, choked out or raped by fellow inmates who hate your guts or just for fun.

No need to remember your name...it won't be used. Numbers is your name. #012345.

Hope you have health issues....meds are limited & hard to come by.

Limited hygiene supplies. So stay filthy my friend.

Above all...loss of FREEDOM!

However, there is a bright side to your fiendish mannerisms- you'll get 5-10 permanent residence so that's housing. You'll be supplied with a jumpsuit in depressing colors; orange or brown. There will be a small photo shoot & paperwork to sign. You'll never be lonley, There is always someone there, plenty of friends to make. 

As for me, I'll eventually recover & log it as bad memory and more importantly a wake up call. So have a nice day Scum Bag! I hope the package arrives damaged & crushed. Or even better, this be the package that catches you and you're off to that lovely facility with all the great expectations I mentioned earlier. 

Enjoy your Stay,

Not a Victim